Keith Richards At 63

I was number one on the "who's likely to die" list for 10 years. I mean, I was really disappointed when I fell off the list.

-- Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, in British music magazine NME, March, 2007.

He Who Learns Must Suffer

He who learns must suffer
And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget
Falls drop by drop upon the heart,
And in our own despite, against our will,
Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.

-- Aeschylus

The Main Thing

The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.

-- Stephen R. Covey

Movin' On Up

Last night, my number four daughter, Brittany, graduated from middle school into high school. She was the only student with perfect attendance for the year, and she was recognized for honor roll, the Presidential Academic Fitness Award, and an academic letter.

Tonight, my number three daughter, Heather, will graduate from high school.

No Matter What Side

No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other.

-- Jascha Heifetz

Tragedy For The World

I think that the almost undeviating support by Great Britain for the ill-advised policies of President Bush in Iraq have been a major tragedy for the world.

-- Former President Jimmy Carter, BBC Radio, May 19, 2007

Gas Prices

I bought gas on January 23, 2007 for $1.889 per gallon. I bought gas today for $3.359 per gallon. That's an increase of $1.47 in 129 days, rising at a rate of more than a penny a day for 4 straight months.

News

If it's in the news, don't worry about it. The very definition of "news" is "something that hardly ever happens." It's when something isn't in the news, when it's so common that it's no longer news -- car crashes, domestic violence -- that you should start worrying.

-- Bruce Schneier, security consultant

As I Interpret Them

His message of peace and reconciliation under almost all circumstances is simply incompatible with Christian teachings as I interpret them. This "turn the other cheek" business is all well and good but it's not what Jesus fought and died for. What we need to do is take the battle to the Muslim heathens and do unto them before they do unto us.

-- Jerry Falwell (11 August 1933 - 15 May 2007) American pastor and conservative activist, on Jimmy Carter in a radio interview, 4 March 2002

Falwell At His Best

And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, an the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."

-- Jerry Falwell (11 August 1933 - 15 May 2007) American pastor, and conservative activist, in remarks to Pat Robertson after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, on The 700 Club, September 13, 2001

War Czar

We believe at some point, in order to break this dependence on the ... coalition, you simply have to back off and let the Iraqis step forward. You have to undercut the perception of occupation in Iraq. It's very difficult to do that when you have 150,000-plus, largely western, foreign troops occupying the country.

... I will tell you this, as the operation officer of Centcom, if a year from now I've got to call on all those army troops that General Schoomaker [US army chief of staff, who said his office was planning so troop levels could be maintained until 2009] is prepared to provide, I won't feel real good about myself.

-- Maj Gen Douglas Lute, newly-appointed War Czar, then-director of operations at US Central Command, Financial Times, August 24, 2005

Either/Or

I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations -- one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it -- you will regret both.

-- Soren Kierkegaard in "Either/Or"

Mistakes We Didn't Make

War is war. We made a lot of mistakes, I'm sure of it. But there are a lot of mistakes we didn't make, too.

-- Secretary of State Condolezza Rice; cited in Joe Conason, "Condi Rice never looks back" (Salon, May 4, 2007)

Zedonk

T I P W O R L D
http://www.tipworld.com
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W O R D O R I G I N S
September 22nd, 2000

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TODAY'S WORD: ZEDONK

(ZEE-dongk)
(n.) The offspring of a male zebra and a female donkey

Yes, there is such a thing, and "zedonk" is what you get, linguistically speaking, when you cross a "zebra" with a "donkey."

By the way, in case you need a synonym, the Oxford English Dictionary notes that you can use "zonkey" instead of "zedonk."

And while you'd be forgiven for assuming that a "zebrass" is the unfortunate result of sitting too long on certain lawn chairs, it's actually yet another name for this hybrid critter.

"Yes, a lovely farm indeed, but would you happen to own any zedonks?"

Martha Barnette is the author of Ladyfingers & Nun's Tummies: A Lighthearted Look at How Foods Got Their Names. She's also the word maven at http://www.funwords.com.

A Hole Of One's Own Making

When one finds himself in a hole of his own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of workmanship.

-- Jon Remmerde, Christian Science Monitor

Bleeding Dads

Daughters are like swords without a hilt and handle. At certain times in their lives no matter how you try to hold them they cut you deeply. Would not have missed it for the world.

-- Lenny Hoover

A Moral Man And A Man Of Honor

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

-- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956), "Prejudices: Fourth Series," 1924

Guarantee Of Religious Pluralism

The secular state is the guarantee of religious pluralism. This apparent paradox, again, is the simplest and most elegant of political truths.

-- Christopher Hitchens

All Human Beings Are Equal

All human beings are equal. Men and women are not equal.
All human beings are equal. White people and people of color are not equal.
All human beings are equal. The rich and the poor are not equal.

-- Yolanda M. Carrington, http://www.genderracepower.com/

Power Used Wisely And Well

It is only in folk tales, children's stories, and the journals of intellectual opinion that power is used wisely and well to destroy evil.

The real world teaches very different lessons, and it takes willful and dedicated ignorance to fail to perceive them.

-- Noam Chomsky

Plan B

Plan B is to make plan A work.

-- President George W. Bush, in response to a question by Charlie Rose on what would happen if the "surge" in Baghdad didn't work; cited in Dan Froomkin, "No One Suffers More Than the President" (washingtonpost.com, April 25, 2007)

Worry Kills

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.

-- Robert Frost