Friday, December 13, 2019

Advice To Young People

I have previously shared with you Balk's Law ("Everything you hate about The Internet is actually everything you hate about people") and Balk's Second Law ("The worst thing is knowing what everyone thinks about anything").  Here I will impart to you Balk's Third Law: "If you think The Internet is terrible now, just wait a while."  The moment you were just in was as good as it got. ...  [T]he Internet is going to keep getting worse and there will be no chance for escape.  It's a massive torrent of sewage blasted at you at all hours and you pay handsomely for the privilege of having a hand-held cannon you carry with you at all times to spray more shit-sludge at yourself whenever you're bored or anxious.  Some of you sleep with it right next to your head in case you wake in the middle of the night and need to deliver another turgid shot to your wide-open mouth.

-- Alex Balk, blog post at "The Awl", "My Advice To Young People", 10 February 2015

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